The Reach Out: Dan Savage

The popular sex-advice columnist and podcaster says, "I rarely go a day without at least an hour of exercise."

Dan Savage is a busy guy. His groundbreaking sex-advice column, “Savage Love,” has been running in syndication across the United States and Canada since 1991.

On his popular weekly podcast, Savage Lovecast, Dan dispenses advice to callers about sex and relationships (“and yaps about politics”).

Of the six books he has written, Dan’s most recent is Savage Love from A to Z: Advice on Sex and Relationships, Dating and Mating, Exes and Extras.

With his husband Terry Miller, Dan founded the It Gets Better Project, an initiative created to support LGBT kids, and published It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living.

I was very curious to ask Dan how he fits exercise and fitness into his super busy life.

How is keeping active and fit a part of your life?

It’s a big part of my life — both actively and passively. Actively in the sense that, you know, I go to the gym, and sometimes I get on my bike just to bomb around town, I stretch and do crunches while I watch TV. But I get a lot of exercise passively. That is, just by going about my usual daily routine involves being active — just going about my daily routine requires me to walk or ride my bike because I don’t have a car. Well, I do have a car. My husband and I own a car. But I don’t know how to drive it because I don’t have a license and I walk and bike wherever I need to go.

I walk or ride to work, to the grocery store, to appointments and meetings. So, exercise is both something I get out there and do on purpose (at the gym, a non-commute bike ride) and something I do when I’m heading out to do something else (walking or biking to work, etc).

Do you have a specific routine or do you fit exercise in whenever you can find time?

I fit it in when I can. There are periods when I find myself going to the gym in the morning for a while, then I shift to the afternoons. I try to go six days a week, even if I can only get in for an hour. Since I get a lot of cardio naturally — riding a bike around Seattle means a lot of hill climbs — I don’t usually do cardio at the gym.

“Routine” is too rigid a concept for me. I have patterns, I guess, and they shift. But I rarely go a day without at least an hour of exercise. Even when I’m out of town, I find a gym or rent a bike. I don’t see it as something I have to get out of the way so I can do something else. It’s part of my day, it’s one of the things I’m doing, it's not something that’s in the way.

Have your exercise habits changed since COVID began?

For the last two years, “going to the gym” has meant “going to the room we turned into a gym.” We’ve always had some exercise stuff at home, but at the start of the pandemic my husband got a ton of new equipment. He’s a bodybuilder and a gym rat and he needs real weights to get a workout. But as soon as he could get back to the real gym, he went.

I’ve been more cautious. I’ve continued to work out at home, for the most part. But I’m disciplined about working out at home now in a way I never was before! If you physically go to the gym, you can’t just stand there doing nothing while other people work out. You have to work out, too.

But at home? You can just stand there. Or sit there. So, even if there are dumbbells and bands here and benches at home….there are also snacks and Netflix. People often buy home workout equipment and then never use it because you can just wander away to eat something or watch TV or have a wank instead. I was the same way — we had some gym stuff here already, some weights, but I never used them even when I couldn’t get to the actual gym. Now I do. But I had to make it… a whole thing. At a certain point during the day I go and change into workout clothes and tell my husband “Hey, I’m going to the gym,” and then head upstairs to work out.

Is there something that motivates you to exercise regularly?

Vanity, of course. But exercise is a natural antidepressant and I need all the help I can get on that front. I’m also pretty much addicted to Twitter and email—and you know what you can’t do when you’re doing curls or pushups or pull-ups? YOU CAN’T LOOK AT YOUR PHONE. Or answer an email.

Do you watch the news, or listen to podcasts or music, while you exercise?

I listen to podcasts — and, okay, to be perfectly honest, I sometimes check Twitter. But working out at home means I don’t have to use headphones. So, I press play on a podcast and set my phone on the other side of the room. That way I have to make a decision to walk across the room and pick up my phone if I want to check Twitter. I don't just mindlessly pull my phone out of my pocket and get sucked in. The phone being ten steps away makes me 85% less likely to look at Twitter — or check my messages or look at hot guys on Instagram.

My favorite podcasts are mostly history or politics podcasts, with a sprinkling of queer stuff. Single Malt History, The Log Books, The Bulwark Podcast, Royal Blood, Why Is This Happening, History Extra Podcast, Honestly, Blocked and Reported, In Our Time, Slate's Political Gabfest, Today In Focus, The Daily...

Is there a sport or fitness trend that you would like to try? 

Not a new one, but I would really like to start snowboarding again — we used to snowboard all the time, but we got away from it a few years ago. Because my husband kind of lost interest, and since he’s the one who drives, I don’t get up the mountains at all these days. I can get anywhere I need to in Seattle on my bike, but I can’t get up Mt. Baker on my bike with my snowboard.

I’m not sure what the latest trends even are. But most of the trends seem to involve classes (spinning?) or some sort of group effort (Crossfit?), and I am far too introverted for group exercises. Gives me flashbacks to being the closeted, un-athletic gay kid in high school gym classes and… yeah, I can’t go there. I like to be on my own when I’m exercising, even (or especially) when at the gym. The actual one, not the home one.

How do you think we can encourage young people to be more active?

Redesign our cities. I don’t think I’m virtuous for walking or riding my bike everywhere. I didn’t take these things up to get fit or stay fit or save the planet — although walking and biking can help to do all of that. I grew up in a big city and we had good public transit and we lived within walking distance of grocery stores and pharmacies and restaurants.

“Photo of the crappy old bike I bought for $100 and bang around the city on.”

I walk and ride everywhere now because I’ve been walking and riding everywhere since I was a child. It’s how I get around because it’s how I’ve always gotten around. Because that’s how you get around in a dense, walkable city. Everyone should be so lucky as to live in a place where everything is a short walk or doable bike ride away—including gyms. Everyone should have the opportunity for that kind of exercise built into their lives. 

I remember reading Dan Savage’s column in Toronto’s alt-weekly, NOW magazine, in the 90’s, and think he's one of Bill Maher's best guests and panelists on Real Time, so it was very fun to ask — at the very end of 2021 — how he prioritizes exercise and fitness in his life.

Thank you, @fakedansavage

To read about how other familiar faces keep fit active and fit, please subscribe.😀

Every new post will go directly to your inbox.

If you enjoyed this interview, please share it.

Tweet me @The_Reach_Out with someone that you’d like me to interview.