The Reach Out: Brian Kiley
The Emmy-winning monologue writer for CONAN wakes up super early for Jujitsu and has found a speedy way to multitask while riding the stationary bike.
Brian Kiley was the head monologue writer on CONAN and currently writes for The Ellen Show.
As a staff writer for Conan O’Brien from day one in 1994, Kiley won the 2007 Emmy Award for Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Program, as well as 16 other Emmy nominations. He performed multiple times on The Late Show with David Letterman; The Tonight Show with Jay Leno; and Late Night with Conan O'Brien.
Brian also appeared on the Cartoon Network's Delocated, The Bonnie Hunt Show, Comedy Central Presents, Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist, Caroline's Comedy Hour, Comedy On The Road, the Showtime Comedy Club network, and An Evening at the Improv.
Kiley is the author of two books, Maybe Kevin and The Astounding Misadventures of Rory Collins.
Since the pandemic restrictions began easing, Kiley has performed stand-up shows in Los Angeles, Ohio, North Carolina, and Arizona.
Kiley was departing for a show in Dubai when I spoke with him, and his frustration with pandemic-era airline travel was palpable:
“Something that might take a normal person five seconds — like uploading a passport onto your phone — takes me so much longer. I’m really bad at tech stuff.”
Is being active and exercising regularly important to you?
It is very important. I was a 98 pound weakling in high school, so I started lifting weights in college and have continued for the last 40 years.
I also started doing Jujitsu right before the pandemic hit, but had to stop going because it's hard to grapple with somebody while social distancing. Once I was double-vaxxed and things opened up, I resumed going and I’ve been 63 times.
I just got my Jujitsu blue belt, which is the second lowest step, but my progress is a little slower than someone younger. Sometimes I’ll think to myself, “Yeah, my body can't move like that.” I actually hyper-extended my elbow a few weeks ago. It's better now, but for a while there, even sleeping hurt.
I also ride a stationary bike — not at a gym, but in my garage where I have a TV set up.
What do you watch while using the stationary bike?
Instead of sitting on the couch, I’ll put a baseball or football game on and get on the bike. When I worked at CONAN, I would DVR the Red Sox game and then watch it on fast-forward while cycling (baseball games are slow and I don't have three hours to watch a full game).
With Conan and I both being from Boston, he would ask me before every meeting, “What happened in the Red Sox game?” So we would talk about Boston sports, much to the chagrin of everyone else. That was our daily ritual.
A comedy writer’s schedule can be a bit crazy. When do you work out?
I don’t have to get up super early to ride the bike, but I have to get up at 4:45am to make it to Jujitsu. Twice a week, I do a two-hour class (5:30 to 7:30am). It's on these days when I will sometimes doze off for a few minutes during our afternoon meeting at the Ellen Show.
On CONAN, we mostly worked in our own offices, so I would take a 10 minute power nap from 12:30 to 12:40 every day. That little nap really helped to get me through the rest of the day.
Does exercise help you with your comedy writing (i.e., "the creative process")?
Yes, exercising really helps to clear my mind. This will sound crazy, but for the last few months at The Ellen Show, we’ve been playing tag every day after rehearsal. We run around the studio just like children. At my age, I'm usually in the middle of the pack, but it does help to get the blood flowing.
During pandemic-era CONAN, did regular exercise help to alleviate stress?
For sure. My job changed pretty dramatically during COVID. Laurie Kilmartin and I had been writing Conan’s monologue, but Conan quickly realized that there was really no point in doing a monologue for no audience.
I had written monologues for Conan for 27 years, but I suddenly had to write sketches and other things that I wasn't used to. It's always good to be challenged creatively, and to use a different part of your brain, but I definitely find it easier to go in a room and sit and write jokes. So being active really helps to clear my head.
What motivates you to exercise regularly?
That's a good question. I guess it's partly out of habit. but I've noticed that I don't sleep as well when I don't work out, and I’m more stressed.
Also, everyone I work with at The Ellen Show is 20 or 30 years younger, so I think I’m motivated to be as energetic and active as possible.
Do you wear a fitness monitor to track your steps and remind you to move?
No, I don't have a Fitbit or anything like that. I will walk to work sometimes, which I know is 4.1 miles each way, and I’ll laugh when a coworker will ask me if I want a ride home. No, the whole point is to walk!
So I’ll put my headphones on and listen to a podcast. In LA, you’re in your car all the time, so it's nice to have a day where I'm just going to walk to work and I've got a History podcast that I like. It's a nice break.
Is there any sport or fitness trend or activity that you think you’d like to try?
That's a good question. I used to play golf, but I didn’t have enough time to play regularly.
I could see myself maybe playing tennis, although I haven't played in a million years. I know I would have no serve, but I think I could probably hit the ball back and forth.
My wife said when we retire, her dream is for us to fly to Beijing, get bicycles, bicycle across northern China, through Mongolia, all the way across Russia. Which is interesting because my dream is to never do that.
My kids have also always been really into sports, so they have also kept me very active.
What kind of sports did you play with your kids?
My daughter was the captain of her soccer team, so I would be the goalie as she took shots at me. My son loved baseball, so we played a lot of catch. He plays professional baseball now, but it got to the point where I had to tell him, “You’re throwing the ball 90 miles an hour at me. I’m going to be killed here!”
I tried to get my son into hockey when he was little, but it was too cold. We also played a lot of basketball in the backyard. The key is to make sure it’s fun.
When you aren’t at an early Jujitsu class, speed-watching a Red Sox game on the stationary bike, or playing tag at The Ellen Show, what comedy projects are you up to now?
Somebody recently asked me to do a comedy show in the Metaverse as part of an NFT collection, and I don't actually know what they're talking about. When we were in the meeting, I thought I was following along, but then I realized I had no idea what a Metaverse show meant.
I don't want to be dismissive of new things — like my friend who refuses to use email — so I am going to do this show at some point in the next couple of months. I don't know what to expect, or what it is, but that will make it interesting.
What was it like to say goodbye to the Conan show?
It was really sad because I really liked everyone I worked with. The Conan writers’ room was so funny, and it was a treat to hang out with such funny people. Conan is hilarious and the other writers were just priceless, so it was sad to not get to hang out with them every day.
I’m lucky that I’ve had the chance to work in another writers’ room at The Ellen Show, and I really love the people I work with there, but that will be ending soon, as well.
I am eager to see Brian Kiley’s comedy show in the Metaverse (whatever that means). I’m confident that his mind will be clear — and his creative juices flowing — because of all that tag, cycling, and Jujitsu. For both Brian and Conan, I hope the Red Sox have a great season.😀
Thank you, @kileynoodles
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